The Pain of Love
by cynical tsuki
Summary: When Eichikun goes to America and Mitsuki can't say a word she's just crying. And then she realizes that she loves Eichikun. But then, he dies in an airplane crash manga. And it's just a huge random fanfic of what I think happened. :]


Full Moon wo Sagashite Fanfic:

Mitsuki's POV

(at the airport, as Eichi-kun is going to America)

My throat closed as I saw him walk towards the doorway to America. He paused at the door and looked back at me. His pinched up face was full of sorrow. His sapphire eyes lost that dazzling glow they usually had; they were a dull, sad blue color. It was like the light had gone out of his starry blue eyes. I choked back on a sob, but the tears continued to pour down my cheeks. I didn't bother to wipe away the tears, even when they began dripping down my chin onto the marble floor; I was so pathetic. The only things that I could do was cry and watch my best friend leave to America.

Actually I didn't really know why I was crying. Was it because he confessed his love for me not too long ago? Was it because he had told me to forget him? After telling me how scary it would be for me to forget him? Or was it because he was leaving me? It was all so confusing.

His face scrunched up as he turned to look at us one last time. Questions popped up in my head and I couldn't stop complaining to myself. Why did he have to go to America? He had promised that he'd stay by my side forever. Why did he have to ruin our perfectly fine friendship by telling me that he loved me? Oh why oh why does my heart feel like it's about explode?

Eichi's POV"

(airport, about to board the plane)

Walking to the entrance, I hesitated and turned around to see my precious Mitsuki's face. She was still crying her heart out. I couldn't bear to see her cry or frown. I felt lousy for hurting her. Of course I didn't want to leave her alone, but the only tie to Japan was her. America was my future. Still feeling horrible and with a heavy heart, I turned around and stepped onto the plane, ready for my new life.

Sitting down, I put my hand on the window and caressed it. It was hard and cold, just the opposite of Mitsuki. Shivering, I remembered how warm and soothing Mitsuki was. Always with a smile, always happy to be with me...until now. The only thing I'd miss here would be her. And I'd miss her greatly.

Slumping against the window, I whispered, "Mitsuki..Just forget me, alright? I'm sorry for making you cry so much. I'm sorry for making you hurt so much..."

Closing my eyes, I felt the plane gain speed and lift up into the air. But I couldn't hear the noisy plane. Mitsuki's cries and wailing seemed as if they were recorded and playing over and over again in my mind. Without permission, tears began to fall down my face. 'How could I leave the only person I'll ever love?' was the last question I thought as I drifted off to sleep.

Mitsuki's POV

(airport, car)

He was gone. I'd never see him again. I-I-I... Suddenly, a part of the manga I'd just read came to me. Kare Kano "It's like my heart just lost its balance. And that's called being in love. If I were still cold and carefree, it wouldn't be love. Because then I'd be seeing myself more important than him. And when you're in love with someone who can bring inbalance to your heart..that's called him being 'caught' in your heart." Oh Eichi-kun, I know my answer to you now!

But why couldn't I have to found the answer five seconds ago? When Eichi-kun was still within my sight!

"Come along now, Mitsuki. It's time to go back. You've been staring at the entrance for a while. Eichi-kun will call you from America once he lands! Don't worry!"

I turned around to see Wakaouji-sensei.

Hopeful tears brimmed my eyes as I whispered, afraid that it was a dream, "Eichi-kun..will..call me?"

He smiled and nodded. Taking my hand, we walked back to the car. So much grief left me when I heard those words. It felt as if the sun finally began to shine through the clouds. No more dark clouds were hiding the sun. There was hope waiting for me.

Buckling the seat belt, I folded my hands with anxiety. When will he call? How long does it take to get to America? Will he be able to find a phone? How will he manage in America? It's so different there! "Mitsuki-chan, you're biting your lip. You don't want to draw blood, now do you?" Wakaouji-sensei winked as I snapped out of my thoughts. Looking out the windows, I watched as differently colored and styled cars zipped past the street. Two white Toyota cars, a blue Honda, and a silver Volkswagon passed us while we waited for the red traffic light switch to green.

As I impatiently watched the red light, I was reminded of the time Eichi-kun and I had gone to an amusement park for the first time in my entire life. He had taken my hand and brought me with him to ride all the rollercoasters possible. Oh how delighted I was to have such an experience; I'll never forget it; I'll take it to my grave. The details came to mind and I delicately replayed the memories.

Squeezing my hand, Eichi-kun smiled his beautiful smile at me as the ride began. The wind whipped my hair all around, tangling it. My eyes were dry from not blinking and my legs were like jello as I came off each ride. After we'd been on enough rides, he'd brought me to a bench and told me to stay there for a while as he went to buy something for the two of us.

He handed me a rainbow colored lollypop. After finishing it, I licked our fingers since they were sticky; I'd made Eichi-kun laugh at this. Once I felt my legs could carry me places, he held out his hand and off we went to the ring toss. Each time a ring was tossed, I'd hold my breath, anxious to see if the ring would stay on top of the bottle neck. When I finally gave up, Eichi-kun grinned at me and told me that there were many other games that I could play. Laughing, we held hands and ran off to the next booth.

As the day was almost gone, we sat on the car, sleepy eyed. We drifted off to sleep, holding each other, and found ourselves the next morning in our beds. It had been one of the best times at the amusement park.

"-chan? Mitsuki-chan? Did you hear what I just said?" Wakaouji-sensei waved a hand in front of my face.

I blushed, "Gomen-nasai, s-sensei. I-"

"Thinking of Eichi-kun, hmm?" He unlocked the doors and got out, "We're at the hospital already. Your obaa-chan told me to bring you here so you can have a check up." I followed him into the hospital.

a day later-in the morning

Mitsuki's back for another checkup

Wakaouji-sensei's POV

the hospital; Wakaouji-sensei's office

"Wakaouji-sensei?" It was Mitsuki-chan. I got up from my chair and opened the door. Tanaka-san, Kouyama-sama, and Mitsuki-chan were all there. Smiling, I warmly welcomed them into my office. Kouyama-sama stiffed at my invitation and put her arm up to stop Tanaka-san from coming in.

Clearing her throat, she sternly said, "Tanaka-san and I are going somewhere. Mitsuki-chan is in your hands for a while. We hope to be back in two hours."

"Ah, hai. I understand." I said in my best doctor's voice.

She nodded her thanks and walked off down the hall with Tanaka-san trailing her. As the door closed, I sighed and turned around.

"Wakaouji-sensei? Do you know when Eichi-kun should be arriving in America?" Mitsuki asked as I took out the instruments needed to check her throat.

After thinking a while, he replied, "Well he should be there maybe today in the afternoon; I think."

Mitsuki's eyes glowed, "Then I can talk to Eichi-kun today!" Her voice could barely contain the excitement. I smiled as I looked at her throat. She must really miss Eichi-kun even though they've only been one day apart.

"Well, your throat looks better than yesterday. Like I said earlier, happiness is usually the best cure for anything," I smiled down at her.

Mitsuki-chan practically sparkled. It was as if nothing could make her day bad now. Everything bad would bounce off her and into nothing.

"Can I watch some television, Wakaouji-sensei?" She was so bubbly at the moment.

Nodding, I went back to my desk and took out Mitsuki's file to work on.

Mitsuki's POV

on the sofa, watching tv

Wow! When was the last time I was allowed to watch television? As I flipped the channels, I found one of the news. Smiling, I thought I could watch this and find out what was happening in the world.

"And this news just came in. Hot off the press. A 809 airplane flying from Japan's JPSA airport to America's LAX airport flew off course and accidentally collided with a 432 plane coming from China's PVG Airport to America's SMF airport. Unfortunately, there were a number of passengers who lost their lives. And here's the list." The camera zoomed in on a list of names.

I read the names, afraid to see Eichi-kun's name there. By the time I finished reading the first two columns, I had calmed down; he couldn't be dead. No, it was impossible! Nonetheless, I continued reading, just to make sure.

I murmured the names to myself, "...Raguto, Izumi; Sakuari, Eichi!" I gasped and stood up. The television remote control dropped from my hand and my palms were so sweaty that it was all wet. My lips were chapped and my throat was dry.

No, no, this couldn't be happening. There must be a mistake. My eyes were misty with grief. It couldn't be the Eichi-kun that I know. I whispered, "He's too young to die. A mistake." And fainted.

general POV

in Wakaouji-sensei's office

Wakaouji-sensei heard Mitsuki gasp and heard a lound thunk. "Mitsuki-chan!" His chair was knocked down while he was getting to Mitsuki. She was slumped on the ground and her face was ash white. He bit his lip as he quickly checked for a pulse on Mitsuki's right arm.

'She fainted from shock. But what of? The television? Why?" Wakaouji-sensei looked up at the television and saw the list of deceased victims of the airplane crash. His eyes widened when he saw Eichi's name. Lifting Mitsuki into his arms, he brought her to the already made hospital bed in his office.

'Poor Mitsuki-chan,' he thought as he gently placed Mitsuki onto the bed.

Mitsuki's POV

in a dream

Looking at the scenery around me, I found myself in a flowered dress in the middle of a meadow. Tall grass sprouted up to my knees and brightly colored flowers screamed, 'Pick me! Pick me!' I looked up to see a blond haired boy walking in a distance towards me. 'Could it be..?' His face was noticeable now. I'd recognize that face anywhere.

"Eichi-kun? I'm so glad to see you! Please tell me that you're safe in an airplane or America!" I came close to tears.

He smiled down at me and held out his hand, "Come with me. Let's have fun in this meadow!"

Oh, Eichi-kun! It really is you! I'm so glad. My heart pounded so hard against my chest, I thought it might fall out. I put my hand in his and we began running through the meadow. Never in my life had I been able to run like that. The wind blew at me; my hair trailed behind me, my face flushed a healthy color, and my hat had completely disappeared. My throat didn't hurt at all.

"Hehe, my hat's gone! Obaa-chan will be mad! And my hair's all over the place!" I laughed and quickly began to tease my hair back in place. I felt a hand lifting my hands away from my hair.

Looking up, I saw Eichi-kun holding my hands, "Is something wrong, Eichi-kun?"

Gently smiling down at me, he replied, "Leave your hair alone. You look very kawaii."

I blushed and looked down. There were some pink and purple flowers growing right next to my foot! "Wah! How pretty! Look at that pink flower!" I examined.

He chuckled as I bent down to pick it up. Studying it, I noticed how unique it was. Though it may have been pink, it had touches of white, red, and purple on it. The middle was a blotch of white and a light purple color grew on the white. A block of pink made up the main color and the flower had a border of light red. It was a beautiful five-petaled flower.

Looking up to show Eichi-kun, I didn't find him right next to me. "Eichi-kun? Where are you? Eichi-kun!" I began to panic. I was all alone in a sea of flowers and grass. Goosebumps covered my slender arms and my eyes were wide in fear. My throat felt as though something was cutting from the inside. It was painful and I fell to my knees, hands clutching at my throat. Groaning, I fell to the dirt ground. The beautiful blue sky was moving so fast and started changing into a dark gray sky.

out of the dream; still general pov

Wakaouji-sensei was bending over me, with a terribly worried look on his face, "Mitsuki-chan! Thank god. Stay in bed for a while, okay?"

Where am I? Wasn't I just with Eichi-kun in a meadow? And I was wearing..A breath caught in my throat and tears flowed down towards my pillow. It was just a dream. A dream! Why! Why am I being punished like this!

"Mitsuki-chan? What's wrong?" Wakaouji-sensei was still worried about me.

"E-Every-th-thing's wr-wrong! Ei-Eichi-k-kun can't die! He's not dead! Don't tell me if he is or isn't dead! He can't die! I never got to reply to him! I never told him!" It just wasn't fair! My tears got heavier. Everything was blurred and my head was wet from my tears.

"Sleep for now. I'll tell you everything when you wake up later, Mitsuki-chan," Wakaouji-sensei gently said and turned to go back to his desk.

"No." I was determined to find out what happened to Eichi-kun. "I want to know what happened to Eichi-kun. If he's dead or alive. I need to know."

Wakaouji-sensei stopped in his tracks. I'd never used that cold voice to talk. Never. But I had to know. I was desperate for news.He slowly turned around and came back to the bedside.

"I wanted to wait until you were stronger; physically, mentally, and emotionally." He tried to get out of it.

"I need to know right now, Wakaouji-sensei." I continued with that cold, uncaring voice.

Deeply sighing, he looked at the window that sat across from him and studied the white paint peeling, "The name, Sakurai, Eichi, that you saw on the list of deceased people from the airport crash... It was your Eichi-kun. I'm so sorry to have to break the news to you, Mitsuki-chan."

I had the barest inkling of thought that he might have been alive, but after those words, everything I knew was gone.

General POV

Wakaouji-sensei glanced at Mitsuki as he said that one last sentence. Her lips began trembling and she'd gone completely white. She was looking as pale as death.

At those words, Mitsuki was convinced that she'd never see the light of day after losing her Eichi-kun. It was like falling through a bottomless well where she was all alone in the dark. There was no light, no sound...I couldn't move any part of my body.

'How could Eichi-kun die? I never got to say sayonara. Nor did I ever tell him of my reply. I love you so much Eichi-kun!' Mitsuki wept silent tears.

in Mitsuki's room

A few months after that incident, Mitsuki was sitting next to the window. Her hair hadn't been combed in a week and she was in her pajamas. Mitsuki's eyes were dry from crying so much.

It was in the evening and the stars had already begun to come out. Hugging her knees to her chest, she lay her head on top of her knees. She tilted her head to see out the window. There it was; a full moon.

"Eichi-kun? Wait for at the bottom of the sea. I'll be with you someday. Please just wait for me." she whispered into the cold night air. Her breath came out in warm puffs of air.

Mitsuki's POV

It was so painful to bear Eichi-kun's death. My heart felt as though it had shattered into a million pieces and would stay like that until the day I die. When I die, I'll be with Eichi-kun and magically, he'd fix my heart in less than two seconds. Why did the one I loved have to die? The people closest to me always die. Ogaa-san, Otou-san, Eichi-kun...I felt cold all over and it didn't seem humanly possible to make me warm again. There was no hope left for me.

Lifting a hand, I felt the window pane and realized that it was the first winter without Eichi-kun. There were so many firsts that I'd had to go through. The first week after Eichi-kun's death. The first birthday without Eichi-kun. It would be Christmas, which would make it the first Christmas without Eichi-kun. Oh how my heart ached so much. Nothing would ever stop the aching pain.

I looked up at the full moon one last time. When I dropped my head, my eyes narrowed as I said to myself, "I won't get close to anyone, nor will I allow anyone to get close to me. Then I won't have to bear anymore pain. I hate it. It hurts so much. I'm going to put up a barrier so strong that nobody will be able to break it down."

I climbed into my bed and covered myself with my blanket. Before falling asleep, I thought one last thought.

'Never again will I ever love. Never.'


End file.
